Dogs That Keep Your Feet Warm?

Yes, I ate Mum’s new slippers….but I am really not to blame here. Who the hell invented slippers for humans to wear that are shaped like furry dogs. Here’s me, going about my household business as usual, when 2 new black Scottie dogs appear in my lounge from nowhere. I was not consulted when Mum brought Ellie home as a puppy, so I naturally assumed that same thing had happened again. Mum went out to work as usual and after prying the kitchen door open with my bare paws, Ellie & I settled ourselves onto the comfy sofa to await Mum’s return. That’s when I noticed them out of the corner of my eye.; sitting next to the fire all black and Scottie like.

Of course I thought it was odd that they were not moving and that they appeared to have no feet and leather bottoms, but like I say ‘who the hell invented slippers for humans to wear that are shaped like furry dogs!’  I sidled off the sofa to take a closer look but Ellie beat me to it. Before I could bark she was walking around the lounge with one of the Scottie dogs in her mouth (it turned out to be the left one). Being the male of the house and fearing for Ellies’ safety, I picked up the other dog to investigate.

Now paw on heart, I picked it up with all the gentleness of a mother carrying her newborn puppy and I have absolutely no idea how the head came off the thing so easily. Leaving a dog home alone with a furry, stuffing filled head is just plain stupidity if you ask me (not that Mum did). I must have blacked out after that, ‘cos when I came to Ellie had snuck back into the kitchen and I was lying on the floor next to 2 furry Scottie dog heads and a mountain of white stuffing. Trust Ellie to try and get back into the lounge and close the door to the kitchen in her attempt. Stuck in the middle of my crime scene with nowhere to go, I had no other choice than to wait for Mum to come home and take my punishment.

Apparently she paid £16.00 for them; which judging by the colour of her face is a lot of money. It’s not like she can’t wear them anymore, she can still stick her feet in them. It’s just that her toes poke out of the ends where the heads should be. Maybe Santa will bring her some more…..

Cannibal Jay xxxx

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