Mum is planning a holiday. The reason I know this is because she has started her usual routine of trying to convince me that I too and going on my holidays….to the kennel (yeah right!!!) In light of this I have decided to outline some key tactics and methods for making the most of those holiday blues. Whether you get shipped off to the kennels or cattery, or are less fortunate and get to spend a week with great aunt Mildred who insists on plaiting your hair and seeing how cute you look in her socks!!!! this is a must read for all pets who’s owners are rude enough to think they need to get away from it all for a week….without taking you!!!
This is by no means an easy feat and it certainly not for the faint hearted. The scared red book is also known as the Passport and you will probably find it glued to your owners side for at least a month before they jaunt off. For maximum effect you should aim to get a hold of it within a week of their holiday date. Hide it, chew it or blatantly destroy it….the choice is yours. If you bide your time your owner will apparently have to queue for at least eight hours at the passport office to obtain a new one. It’s a risky move but will certainly ingrain onto your owners brain that you are not impressed.
Sulk for days on end
The effectiveness of this tactic is dependant on how excited your owner is about their impending holiday, occasionally your sulking maybe overlooked or defined as “cute”. This is a tactic best left until the last minute. There is pretty much no chance that your owner will ever cancel their holiday, however if you use your best puppy dogs eyes at the same time as your owner wedges you into the boot next to 600 bags and cases you with inevitably emblazon your sad face across their minds for the whole duration of their holiday.
Refuse to walk properly
Never act too excited
Going on holiday Jay