I know I shouldn’t have…but I did!
My owner has spent the best part of today baking a cake, and what a lovely cake it was. Bigger than my head and shaped like a grand piano, covered in black icing with little piano keys and a hand crafted stool. She baked and carved and iced and even made iced sheet music to sit on a little stand……all followed by a human faux pas. She left on it the side in the kitchen to set, and she left me in the kitchen, presumably to test my resistance to canine instincts. Needless to say I failed.
I was just standing there, minding my own business, chewing what’s left of my favourite rope toy (Ellie ‘played’ with it when I went for a walk), so obviously it now has no head, no legs, one arm and less stuffing than my Owner’s Xmas turkey. I swear that cake spoke to me…….. “Jay…Jay, eat me!! EAT ME!!!”. I thought if I just had a small taste I could blame Ellie, you know, have my cake and eat it so to speak. So taste it I did, I just took a nibble of one of the legs at the back…….caaaaaakkkkkeee. Had I been on a wagon I would have fallen off at that very moment. As you will know from previous posts, I am not a bad dog and what kind of human would leave a dog in a kitchen wth a cake……
Okay, so I ate the cake, the whole thing (including the sheet music). Had I known more about the culinary skills of humans I may have avoided certain parts for fear of recrimination. Note to self….do not eat pure icing. The damn piano keys stuck in my mouth like glitter on glue, and try as I did I could not get them off. I had demolished a whole cake, including crumbs and lined my housemate Ellie up to take the blame, but the evidence against me was overwhelming.
Mum came back into the kitchen half an hour later and gasped in horror when she looked at the empty cake tin. She glanced at me in what can only be described as disbelief (she knows I do not steal food as a general rule), if only I had kept my mouth shut and pointed a paw at Ellie, I may have gotten away with it. But no, I had to smile didn’t I. Mum screamed, Ellie barked and I turned to look at my reflection in the kitchen door. Giant, black and white icing piano keys hung where my own teeth should have been. I looked like the Cheshire Cat on a grinning mission.
Caked and Happy Jay xx