Oh dear God! Why does my Mum insist on putting the Christmas decorations up in November every year? She spends most of the month shouting at the shop windows because the are starting Christmas too early, then she loses her marbles completely and joins them. Wouldn’t you know I’ve got the bloody reindeer antlers again; I should be greatful I haven’t got the Santa hat and strap on boots like Ellie. Mum is not one for buying dog clothes and dressing us up (thank God), but she, like most other humans take on an alter ego during the festive season. For starters, she sings….she buys more food than is humanly possible to consume….she cries at the tenth remake of a Scrooge classic….and she takes on a present buying madness that can only be described as human rabies. Hundreds of people battling through the centre of town, arms full of bags and boxes, half crazed hyena looks on their faces. If only they could enjoy Christmas the way a pet does. Other than enduring the dress up photo days, Ellie and I have a ball. We get to each buffet food by the bucket load; Mum is usually ten sheets to the wind by 2pm on Christmas Day, enabling us to eat mushroom filled vol-eu-vents until we pop. If the alcohol madess carries on into the evening, Mum has no hope of navigating the stairs to get us into bed in the kitchen, we therefore get to spread out and sleep on Mum’s bed.
Ellie is itching to help Mum unravel the tree lights. The decorations take 6 hour to put up but only 6 minutes to take down.; i do try to explain each year that if the lights were put back into the original box, neatly wrapped they would come out much easier, but no one listens to me. Mum also put 600 tiny fairy lights around the tree before plugging them in and checking they work. Sod’s law that one of the little buggers won’t!
Ah well, I’d better show willing and try to eat some of the angel hair…..Time to let the dog see the rabbit (so to speak). Canines start your engines….Ellie, on your mark, get ready…open the crate.
Almost Festive Jay xx