Snow White and the 7 Dogwarfs


We have all heard of the 7 dwarfs – Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful and Doc. But I don’t think many humans are aware that we canines also have our own version of this classic Disney tale.

Yappy – a small dog breed, also known as toy or miniature dog. Some examples would be Yorkshire Terrier or Chihuahua. Easily identifiable by their ability to bark at a pitch high enough to break glass. Can often be found hanging out of celebrities handbags or squashed between the butt cheeks of obese owners.

Scary – there are a couple of breeds that I would put into this catagory. The first being the Rotweiler, for obvious reasons. The second being the Chinese Crested (hairless variety). No words are needed to explain why this breed is particularly scary to humans and dogs alike. Please see photo in explanation. (leg warmers optional!)

Sporty – yes we are still talking about dogs and not spice girls. I am extremely surprised to find that I apparently do not fit into this catagory. However, if you want a dog that is built like Arnie and can catch a salmon with their bare paws….check out the Pointer and Springer Spaniel for some examples.

Speedy – Usain Bolt has nothing on these breeds. The Greyhound and Whippet are notorious amongst us dogs as being able to run like the wind. The down side is the slim build and delicate digestives systems, which can often result in their human owners running from the wind.

Clumsy – mainly described as clumsy due to their size, but the catagory winner for the dog most likely to accidently step on it’s owner foot and break a few toes in doing so is the Irish Wolfhound. Although wonderfully intelligent, this breed can’t even see where it’s feet are, let alone be held responsible for what it treads on.

Thoughtful – these breeds are so named due to their care and consideration in the hair shedding arena. Loved by humans for their ability to roll themselves stupid all over their owners new black trousers without a hair in sight. Who wouldn’t love one of these dogs….(hiss & boo). Poodle and Bichon Frise are perfect examples of these ‘keep your hair to yourself’ breeds. Unfortunately, not content with the hundreds of breeds of dogs already around, humans have taken to cross breeding dogs they like with traits that suit. Giving rise to the lazily named Labradoodle.

Jobsworth – yes me at last. This is a class of working dogs breeds who are gifted in the employment sector due to their skills, abilities and canine instincts. I myself am a working dog (sheep herder to be exact) and although I have never actually had a job, your average Border Collie makes this catagory with ease. A lesser known breed from this section is the Giant Schnauzer (pictured below), and whilst it may look like a cross between a giant Yoda and Chewbacca, it is an excellent herding breed (if I were a sheep I’d sure as hell move if I saw this running towards me!!!)

Snow White Jay xxx

2 responses »

  1. What a funny idea -great! We had several Bouviers de Flanders – which look similar to the Giant Schnauzer – They were black and looked looked like a large bear( lived with sheep but there to kill wolves, other dogs herded)…and fit all the categories above except “yappy”. Gotta love them all.

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