How To Keep Your Person Happy

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I have noticed during my years of living with Mum that there are numerous things that can land a pooch in the so-called ‘dog house’. I can only assume that these ‘things’ are not specific to my living arrangements and most probably apply to all dogs and their owners. I have therefore made myself an ‘Unbucket List’ (things I will NOT do before I die)……I am going to go on a Doggy to do List Detox and try to refrain from doing as many of these things as possible. Mainly because I love my Mum and do not like to see her eyes flashing red and the vein in her temple doing an Irish Jig.

  1. I will stop wiping my mouth across the sofa throw after having eaten my chicken in jelly dinner – it is not a doggy napkin
  2. I will not take Mum’s underwear off the washing line and parade them around the garden like a 4th of July banner
  3. I will stop sitting on Ellie’s head so that I get more attention than she does
  4. I will not play tug of war with Mum’s trousers – especially when she is sitting on the toilet with them around her ankles
  5. I will not stick my head out of the car window incase I accidentally put my foot on the button and get my head stuck – again
  6. I will not come in from the garden after doing my business and wipe my butt across the carpet – especially when we have company
  7. I will stop being nosy and barking every time someone knocks on our neighbours front door
  8. The postman is not trying to steal our belongings when he pokes his hand through the letterbox – I must stop trying to rip off his limbs
  9. I must not stand up to attention and growl after being in a deep sleep when it is dark and Mum is home alone
  10. I must not drink out of the toilet bowl (or I will at least check it has been flushed first)
  11. I must head to the garden if I’m going to be sick, instead of walking around the house and depositing piles of puke on clean bits of carpet
  12. I must not sniff Ellie’s poo after she’s done it if my front legs are not securely positioned

There are probably a lot more I should add to this list…but we’ll see how I go on over the next few days………

Unbucketed Jay xxx

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