Ellie is a lean, mean eating machine and she usually gets away with it, but recently she has started eating things that drive mum mad and today was the final straw. Not only did she eat the cheque that came in the post for mum, she also ate mum’s new bank card. She got off lucky with the 2 bills she ate as mum didn’t seem too bothered. Yesterday she ripped a big hole in the beanbag thing that mum rests her feet on. Suprisingly enough it wasn’t filled with beans at all, much to Ellie’s disappointment. It was filled with tiny round ball things. “Was” being the operative word because after about 20 minutes they were all over the lounge floor instead. I have tried stopping Ellie’s mass destruction when the postman calls but she’s like a dog possessed. She tears around the kitchen with the mail in her mouth (which I must admit I have joined in with a couple of times) like the Tazmanian Devil on Red Bull. Although she’s not running anywhere at the moment because she is in her crate. She’s not happy as you can see from the picture I took a few moments ago.
I’m back…which is only relevant if you knew I had gone away, which you didn’t becasue even I didn’t know. My fears of a couple of weeks ago about Me and Ellie going to the kennels whilst Mum went away were completely wrong….because she took us with her. We went “down south” and stayed in a caravan and it was absolutely fabulous. We tooks toys and food and snacks and we did so much stuff I can hardly remember all of it. Ellie got spat on, which was hilarious. We went for a little walk down by a lake and there were loads of swans and geese there. I did warn Ellie about my encounter with these birds that time I went for my solo walk, but she never listens to me. So off she goes down to the edge of the lake and then she sticks her head in and looks around under the water. Some of the female birds took offense at this (I think because they didn’t have any underwear on!!!) and one of them tried to grab Ellie’s leg and pull her in. Mum dropped her ice cream (not good news…) and dragged Ellie back up the bank by her lead, and as she was being pulled away one of the large geese next to her spat on her. I mean, how rude!!! I would have had a stern word with the bird but it had way more friends there than just us three and Mum was more concerned about her ice cream so I decided to leave it.
The best bit about the holiday was where we stayed. It was like a house made out of thick tin on wheels that didn’t move. When you ran about in it, it rocked from side to side and make one hell of a din. So Ellie and I tore up and down as often as we could, before Mum put us out in the little garden. I actually got some good momentum going at one point as I bounced off the sofa (that doubled as a bed?) and ran full pelt through the kitchen thing and bounced off the other end on Mums bed. We were really rockin and rollin. The people in the next caravn to us had brought their pets along on holiday as well. A strange looking dog with no fur on its body and way too much on its head, and also a big, fat ginger cat with a lazy eye. Most people think that dogs and cats don’t get on and that dogs like to eat cats. This is a general myth and actually most of us get on quite well, however that poor dog in the next caravan obviously had his very own cat loony toon to put up with. Twice whilst Ellie and I were sticking our paws up at the cat through our window we saw the little dog trot aimlessly past on the sofa, and twice the cat shot out its back legs and launched the dog across the caravan, without even flinching. And one morning while I was outside doing my business I just caught sight of the dogs front paws disappearing under the caravan and then he emerged covered in mud and that cat walk past with a strange smirk on its face. Very suspicious.
Mum says that maybe we can go back to the caravan later in the year, which I am looking really forward to as it was great fun.
I haven’t written a blog for a few days as I have been a bit down in the dumps. One of my friends from down the road is moving away. Chase, the Springer Cross (not sure what with…) is moving to Barcelona. Apparently, it’s in Spain and he has to go on a aeroplane to get there. His Dad say’s it is going to be hot and he might have to be shaved!!! (rather him than me…) He told me that he has to get a dog passport, but I’m not sure if he’s making that up or not…I’m going to look it up on the internet later. I told him that he will have to have some big injections, which wiped the smile off his face. I will miss him though. Maybe we will go and visit him? I’m not too keen on the idea of flying though…doesn’t sound very natural. I wonder what happens up there. I bet pets don’t get aeroplane food and free drinks!
Mine and Ellie’s hair is dropping out everywhere. Mum has to keep hoovering every couple of hours and she’s not impressed. She used a very ferocious looking brush this morning that practically waxed me and Ellie bald (okay…a slight exaggeration). Rather a brush than Chases’s up and coming hair style though….
My major acheivement this week has been graduating from Agility Classes. Monday night was my final class and I got a certificate and everything. I had to do a complete circuit of the equipment, without my lead on, and I did really well. I didn’t go over the see-saw, cause I don’t like it and it’s pretty pointless and I also didn’t bother to jump when it came to the mini jump type things. I mean if there is something in my way and I can’t get around it, then I’ll jump….but not unless I have to. And apart from running off to see the Llama in the next field a couple of times….I was great. I think Mum thought I was good too cause when the man gave her the certificate she said “Thank God it’s Over!!!”.
The day after...The night before
- And They Call it ….Puppy Love…
Occasionally we go and visit Mums friend who lives about half an hour a way. I have to sit in the boot with Ellie which is not the most pleasant of places. She isn’t to keen on the car so she emits some very offensive smells from her rear end, and she whines constantly from her front end. Mum has taken me to visit her friend before, but this is the first time Ellie has come too. Mums friend has a Scottish Terrier who thinks he’s the dogs…..I usually just lay by the side of the sofa and ignore him but today I had my secret weapon with me. Game On!!!
Mum and her friend started chatting as soon as we arrived and as Charlie “the scottie dog” has the run of the whole house, off we all went to “play!” It took less than 3 minutes for Ellie to quite violently disect 2 of Charlies toys. A funny looking teddy with a blue shirt on ended up headless and armless and a large blow up ball farted uncontrollably around the lounge after Ellie’s claws did a wolverine style move. Charile was not impressed. Now I must admit that there are times when Ellie drives me mad, but as a tag team we are damn near unbeatable. I’ve got the brains and she’s got the balls (so to speak). Next we took aim at the water bowl. Ellie has a fabulous technique of taking a large drink of water and the moving away from the bowl with her mouth still full, she then breathes deeply and everything with 2 metres gets soaked. Most unfortunate for Charlies bed. At this point he obviously realised we were a force to be reckoned with, so off he went to lay by his Mum. Ellie and I took a look around the rest of the house. You can tell he is spoilt cause he has those tiny little gourmet dog food tins that the humans ring each other about on the TV adverts. You know the ones I mean, they have pictures of your favourite dog on them wearing a crown? How quaint. Personally I stick to our supermarkets own brand. My stomach is far too sensitive for anything rich and Ellie will eat whatever ends up in her bowl.
I think Charlie is the type of dog who can only run in slow motions with magical musc playing in the background. Something like “I need a Hero” whilst he runs along the beach in his tight red “STUD” t-shirt. Just a thought…..Mum took some of Ellie’s puppy photos to show her friend. I have put a few of my favourites into this post.
My impression of "An American Werewolf in London"
Play Day Jay
I guess not many people associate pets with watching television. However, some of us are avid watchers. Ellie loves TV and she frequently stand two inches away from the screen. I’m not as bothered by it as nothing exciting seems to happen. Until today. Mum is off work…I thinks she’s sick. She’s spent more time running up and down the stairs to the toilet than the people I have been watching on the TV. Why she doesn’t just go in the garden like me and Ellie is beyond me! Mum says the thing on the television is called the Olympics and it’s quite interesting. I’ve been watching swimming, diving, dressage, archery and gymnastics. I think there’s some kind of rule that if this Olympics is held in your country you get to win most of the medals (but I’m not sure). The people with the red and yellow flag seem to doing very well. Dressage was very impressive. It’s a bit like what I have been learning to do at agility. Maybe I will be able to enter something in the next Olympics. I don’t think I’ve got the strength for gymnastics and you seem to have to grip, whcih is practically impossible with paws. Swimming as not my thing (as you already know). NOw Mum says the track event start tomorrow. Running I can do. Either throw my ball or get 100 killer shepp to chase me and I’m gone.
If you really knew about the things your pets could do you’d be quite amazed. Actually, I get quite amazed at the things people do with pets which seems quite bizarre to me. I mean, if you were meant to carry small dogs around in handbags, they would have been born with handles right? And if your pet was meant to be yellow, green or sky blue pink, its fur would have come out that colour. I do think that some people do what they think is best for their pet, but really it isn’t. George, the Bull Mastiff down the road is quite literally the size of a house. He gets fed all kinds of scraps such as chickens bones, chocolate, mints, cakes. His Mum loves him very much…a little to much. Thing is about us dogs, we will eat until we explode…quite honestly. We will never say no to food, no matter what it is. I guess we just trust that our owners know what they are feeding us.
Team GB Jay